Is it V-Day…Already?

You still haven’t had time to even put away your crimbo decor when you walk into the shop, and OH!..There you have Valentine’s Day displays galore hogging up the shelf space where cuddly Santa’s once were, slashed at half price not even 24 hours before. Heart-shaped boxes and red-foil wrapped chocolate roses are sat beside Me to You teddies and cats with “We’re purrrfect Together” embroidered on their furry little tummies. You look around and simultaneously check your phone to make sure you haven’t stepped into Back to the Future for a day or two, until you realise no, you’re not wrong. In spite of the formidable overload of pinks and reds, it’s still only January, and Valentine’s Day has no business being in your face like this. There are a good five weeks before this should be a thing.

The exact origins of Valentine’s Day are something of a mystery. But what we know is that Valentine’s Day is somewhat of a tool, created by patriarchy, to exonerate heterosexual men of the need to create unprompted romance the other 364 days of the year.

Perpetuated on social media, Valentine’s Day has been seized from its origin as a feast celebrating a saint imprisoned for performing illegal ceremonies. When people say, “I hate Valentine’s Day,” what they often mean is, “I hate being forced to take inventory of the quality and volume of love in my life.” There are few holidays that conjure the collective groan of the public like Valentine’s Day does. Since I am presently un-attached, V-Day for singles like me will consist of watching Dirty Dancing on repeat accompanied by your two friends: Ben and Jerry whilst your flatmate enjoys a romantic evening on a date with her fella making you wish you were the lead in a Nicholas Sparks movie. We can only dream.

But ladies, this shouldn’t be the case. We don’t need a man in our lives to make us feel ‘complete’, so to help us feel good about our bitter loneliness, to prove that we don’t need the nuisance of another half; timed perfectly, in the line up for Valentine’s Day (Feb 14th, put it in your diaries), Twitter last night once again provided us with a evening’s worth of entertainment with their trending hashtag of ‘#WasteHisTime2016’, making us feel more romantic than ever. Ha. Ha.

The hashtag has women devising some savagely evil ways and sharing some heartless advice that’ll waste a man’s time, break his spirit, and basically ruin his confidence forever – as if it were some noble New Year’s resolution. Let’s just say that women are not playing this year.

I mean, liking a guy can become obsessive – once a girl is preoccupied with the concept of love, it’s game over. The selfish become selfless, girly nights become Netflix and chill, and then life starts to crumble.

From all the sour comments, men of 2016 seem to ditch plans in order to ‘hang’ with the ‘lads’, and are unaware of their own feelings because guys usually tell each other how to feel, and bros tend to hide from girls when things get too serious.

It turns out, women are super smart and are super over dudes, making the hashtag a clever way of turning the tables on some of the pitfalls women who date men encounter. As Redditor TurnDownForWhat quite simply put it. “Here it is gentleman, the mephitical proof that: Yes they know what they’re doing and no they don’t give a fiddlers f***!”

Here are some of the best:

Tweet about how you have no one texting you and when he texts you don’t reply #WasteHisTime2016
– Christina (@spanishcvndy) January 6, 2016


Tell him you’re not looking for anything serious. Then get in a relationship the next week with someone else. #WasteHisTime2016
– JL (@JessicaLaliah) January 6, 2016

Tell him to come over then fall asleep & don’t answer the “I’m here” text #wastehistime2016
– Chel$$$ (@1Chelsi) January 6, 2016

Leave his messages unread for a week, then finally text him back and tell him you was sleep.. The whole time #WasteHisTime2016
– Kayla (@MissParisi_) January 6, 2016

Finally allow him to take you on a date then after have him drop you off at your other man’s house #WasteHisTime2016 
– cyrene tankard (@cyrenelovette) January 6, 2016

Wait until he catches feelings and then ask him if his best friend is single #WasteHisTime2016
– will heron dale (@zaibunvally_) January 6, 2016

Ask him if he is good with his hands, then when he comes over make him put together that IKEA furniture. #WasteHisTime2016 
– NC (@_NikkiandCo) January 6, 2016

Hang out with him all day and then when you get home tweet, “damn today was hella boring” #WasteHisTime2016
– A. (@aspensharae) January 6, 2016 

…But seeing as V-Day is coming up, a bit of romance and a bunch of roses would be nice… any volunteers?

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