No, the hoe doesn’t mean what you think it means
1. Growing up by the sea was a big part of our childhood. This laid back lifestyle tends to make us a lot more chilled out than those from up “North” (read: which is anywhere past Exeter for us Plymouthians).
2. So, don’t even bother suggesting summer date plans – she’s got it sussed. Rare sunny days call for ciders, picnics, a BBQ on the beach or a bathe down Tinside. Lovely stuff.
3. For the rainy days, Plymouth Aquarium has you covered – especially with your free year pass meaning SO many free date ideas. Win/win, basically.
4. Not everyone speaks like a janner. The media like to over-exaggerate the accents down south. Just cause she doesn’t speak like Doc Martin doesn’t mean she’s not from the area.
5. That said, saying ‘oright?’ doesn’t mean you’re asking if they’re alright, it’s merely a way of just saying hello.
6. Unless she’s a football fan, don’t assume an Argyle match at Home Park is her idea of fun, namely because the likelihood of bumping into an ex or their dad with a season ticket is highly probable. Just saying.
7. If you’re the jealous type, be aware, she might like swimming at the Life Centre.Probably because local Tom Daley might be about. Oops.
8. Walking from the Hoe to the Barbican is guaranteed to take at least 2 hours, so be prepared for a Cornish pasty, bumping into multiple people she knows and the occasional shoe lace break en route.
9. No, the Hoe isn’t what you think it means. It’s the heart of ptown aka where we spent most of our teenage years hanging on the grass by Smeaton’s Tower, as The Beatles did back in 1967. Take her there and she loves you, yeah yeah yeah. (Sorry that was awful).
10. If your girl asks you to take her to Bang Bang, don’t get too excited ’cause you’re not as lucky as you think you are. It’s a club located next to its twin, Cuba – and if you make it here, stamina and holding your drink is the key.
11. And when the nights don’t go to plan, there’s always a trip to Caffeine Club, where you can stuff your face with cheesy nachos and curly fries wishing you had stayed the night in bed.
12. The Christmas lights turn-on is the highlight of the social calendar. If you want an X Factor meets BGT reunion, come here for a singalong to Chico Time. What’s not to love?
13. We won’t be best pleased if you take us to Union Rooms for Curry Club or Fish Friday. Take us to Pierre’s at Royal William Yard if you want to impress. Ta.
14. She will be more than aware of her city’s history. The story of Sir Francis Drake becoming the Mayor of Plymouth in 1581 before helping to see off the Spanish Armada in 1588 has been hammered into her brain since birth, just FYI.
15. From age 14 we spent our school holidays at the under-18 Oceana nights. Either that, or we attempted to enter some of the cooler clubs on North Hill.
16. She’ll probably make you trek for miles to her favourite beach. You may think you have found the perfect place, but take a step down please, she will know a better one.
17. If she really is the apple of your eye, you will never live anywhere else. Even those who have flown the nest for study, work or travel, always come back. Plymouth you beaut.