There’s something so addictive about anonymously swiping left and right, determining your fate with a certain ‘other’. My thoughts whilst playing the ‘game’ go a bit like: “No. No. NO. Definitely not. No. No. No. Ooh…Hello…”. It’s not exactly what you would call romance, or anything even close to that matter. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think anyone, ANYONE, has signed up for this site with the intention of candle-lit dinners served with bottles of Moët (although I wouldn’t complain). Basic manners are all that we women ask for, but apparently these things are too much to ask when logging on to swipe (generally to the left in my sake… oops).
Let me explain.
This new ‘dating’ (if you can call it that) outburst is definitely not what our parents view as ‘traditional’. I mean, you just have to show them the app and you get various responses such as “I don’t understand, you just look at people?” “You don’t even speak to them?” “Is it quite simply a yes or no?” yada yada yada.
The story for some of my friends has gone a little like this: They log onto Tinder, they match with a guy no problem, they start talking and BOOM, first date on the cards. All goes well, maybe a kiss, going home satisfied and before they know it date number two is around the corner. Some have been successful and others end in the cliche “I’m not looking for romance” – a polite end to their Tinder relationship. I mean, this makes me think, well, if they can do it why can’t I?
We’re lucky to even get a date as a teenager in this modern age. My dating experience can’t at this point be topped by a meal at an all-you-can-eat buffet or a trip to the local football club’s weekly match…10/10.
So, I download Tinder and eventually get a match after about 50 swipes to the left. Very occasionally, apart from the “Hey beautiful, you fancy meeting up?” or the over use of the wink face, I will begin chatting to a ‘normal’ guy. He’ll be pleasant, and seem interested until he either drops the dirt bomb or continues to stay ‘normal’. At this stage, you can’t help but feel an urge of excitement in you, the thought of a ‘new guy’ who nobody else really actually knows, maybe he’s older or just different to your usual type, it’s exciting, despite you not even knowing the boy.
A week or so would have gone by and the proposal of meeting up is lurking, and about an hour before the first meeting he would cancel with some humorous excuse which makes you quiver on whether you were talking to an alien or a boy, and then some other pretentious nonsense. So we would carry on talking until the idea of meeting raises once again.
How can people cease contact after they can be so on it before. Yes, it happens in real life too, but Tinder seems to have no anomalies. I mean, where are your manners? However, you can’t just blame the guys on the disappearing act as I am guilty of the very same things, whimpering out on future meet ups or clicking the ‘unmatch’ button a few too many times.
I have decided that, sure, some people may be (desperately) using Tinder for a long-term romance but for a lot of others it’s mostly to do with self-gratification (becoming more interested in getting a match rather than the person whom they have matched). You could perceive Tinder as more of a ‘game’, hence why so many boys will want to meet a few times and then suddenly disappear. Cause to be honest, by that stage, they would have got what they wanted: an ego boost, and some successful hookups.
Tinder is shallow. Bad behaviour can stem ever so simply from the ease at which you can dismiss people. There’s no depth or desire. But then the more you hear from Tinder’s co-founder, Sean Rad, about the creation of “150 marriages we know about”, the more our expectations exceed beyond reality. But let’s be honest, I think we’d be lucky if Tinder could ever exceed these expectations.